cacophonia feltus fecit - a selection of thoughts by Tobias Feltus.

Invented Word of the Day for Today, Some Time in May, 2007

autohugosim
\aw-toh hyoo-goh iz-uh m\, noun:

1. The human disposition to make oneself miserable through fictional mental masturbation.
2. A self-induced condition of delusional thought patterns, often leading to unrest and lack of self trust, self esteem, and trust in others.

From the moment she was one second late, his drink changed guise from being a refreshing quench of anticipation, to an autohugoist brother of his calvinist nature.
-- Feltus, "The Undrafted", 2007.

[comes from Victor Hugo's title "Les Miserables" + Gk, comb. from of autós self + -ismos, -isma n. suffixes, often directly, often through L -ismus, -isma.]

autohugojizm
\aw-toh hyoo-goh jeez-uh m\, noun:

1. The fruit of self inflicted fictional mental masturbation [see autohugoism]

...After several hastily consumed glasses of house white (which, one reminds, was originally chosen to not have stained teeth in presence of the date), he started to uncontrollably scribble down a list of potential reasons for which she had not turned up, erupting in a volcanic frenzy of ill-formed black squiggles in his Moleskine.
-- Feltus, "The Undrafted", 2007.

In the eyes of desire, there is always something greater. Though not always better, one's eyes are deceptive, one's imagination vast.

Why, as a child, would you desire the biggest lollypop, knowing that it was far too big to fit in your mouth, too big to fully enjoy. And even when you had the smaller lolly in your mouth, and you understood that it was good, and fitted perfectly, you would still reach for the biggest, knowing that it is better. I am sure, however, that having the biggest lolly in your mouth, you would realize that the one that fit was better, more suited.

How can you tell a child that love is blind, when desire is so blinding? No handful of sweets will ever be as fulfilling as that of the mental construct.
_07.02.05

I find it very bizarre how life seems to run in spurts. even the busiest moments are not a constant race, but rather a series of sprints interwoven with stagnant moments of comfortable eclipse. It seems almost as though the timeline of life is a reflection of the earth's rotation, our wake and sleep, joy and pain, manic and depression, race and sit. All put together in a series of waves that all meet at some point, most likely at our beginning and end, as the biggest wave would be our lifetime as a whole, beginning with a slap into life, and ending, slowly, by sitting, becoming a couch potato, lying and expiring.
_ 25.10.04

I have come to a compromise. After years of trying to rationalize the purpose of human existence, I have decided that neither of the two philosophies at stake are more true or false than the other. Man as an animal: our purpose and instinct is to reproduce, though modern technology allows us to enjoy without long term consequences. Man as an intellectual: our purpose and instinct is solely to communicate, something that we create technology to make more possible on a larger scale. Both lines of thought explain phenomena such as bullying and the desire for leadership, and many other problematic behaviours, however I believe that possibly these do not provide an end other than each other. Both are true. Why do we wish to copulate? To spread our opinions, to communicate. Why do we wish to communicate? To attract attention so that we 'get the bird'.
_30.01.04